Rufus Wainwright

I saw Rufus live tonight.

And it was unforgettable.

In all honesty, I hardly expected a big show or anything fantastically amazing before I went to see him. In fact, I thought paying 17.50 GBP for a ticket was a bit extravagant - but I have no regrets. And I would pay to see him again.

He's just got such a presence on stage. And it's not the sort of screaming-look-at-me-elvis-type presence... it's a subtle charm that almost diffuses to you across the stage, in his speech, in his songs...

There is just so much about tonight and all its details I wish I could remember as vividly as it happened then... already, I can almost feel fragments of tonight slowly fading in its lucidity.

Martha Wainwright (sister) opened the night.. she reminded me so much of Jewel's early days (before she, arguably, sold out) with the raspy voice, that sometimes had a hint of rufus's distinct sonorous quality, and all that angsty lyrics...
Singing about life, death, the usual angst-type themes... at one point, she makes a remark, mumbles a bit, trails of... and then as a recovery says, 'sorry...i'm so jaded'. I smile... the jaded, acoustic song-writer...it's too much of a cliche. She sings her first number and at some point, repeats 'bloody mother fucking asshole', which happenes to be the title of the song, naturally. The stark vulgarity of those words repeated in such a sharp register seriously amused me. I cringed somewhat. Music is meant to be beautiful.
She sang more angsty-about-life acoustic numbers... which were not without credit...
and then of course, after a break, Rufus came on.

Looking much better than he did the last time I saw him on Jools Holland. Then, he had spiked up tony-&-guy-ish hair... and for some reason, looked really poor. I had seen other pictures of him online and I didn't think he'd look that bad. But maybe just that night he was having a bad day... for he looked amazing, relaxed and really attractive tonight. He'd grown his hair out and he looks so much better with floppy hair. While singing he would occasionally be so caught up with the performance, he'd swing his head from side to side, with his hair falling about his face..
I was swinging my head too... but not so much because I was caught up in the music (which I wish that was the reason) but because two bloody male arseholes were sitting directly in front of me (despite being in the third row from the front) and their heads were blocking my direct line of vision to Rufus. So I had to swing my head from side to side to catch that full-on glimpse of Rufus everytime the two idiots in front of me switched 'head positions'. The fat balding guy on my left must have thought I was trying to get fresh with him, for I kept inching closer to my left (ie. him) just so I could see Rufus in between the heads. I occasionally leaned right towards James but the guy in front of me kept tilting his head to the right so I couldn't see either.

In the end, I'm glad to say I sorted a solution and reached an equilibrium. I found that when Rufus was playing the guitar, he was more up front, and I could see him directly, without having to move my head at all. When he was playing the piano, I slouched in my seat and for some reason, had more space in between the heads in front of me, to manouvere myself to see him, without pressing myself against the fat bald man on my left.

After achieving that, his music really hit me. It was just such pure music-making. I discovered after awhile, I was the only one around moving my head in rhythm, tapping my feet and generally moving about in my seat with the music. James reckons it's because the 'concert-hall' atmosphere makes it difficult for people to be less inhibited and fully participate with the music. He suggested it would be different if we were all standing. He also said the girl on his right was clapping the whole time. So I take comfort I wasn't the only one. I personally don't see how a hall setting could prevent anyone from not responding to the music. I have my own theory that you could identify musicians in the audience by looking at whether they were responding to the music or not. If you were a musician, there is absolutely no way you wouldn't respond - even if it was in the minutest way - to the quality of the music. For me, that is a true indication.

And then there were those in-between-songs moments where Rufus spoke to the audience. And he was so amusingly funny.

Rufus: So... what's there in coventry?
A covenant?
A convent?
(laughter)
R: I hear there's a cathedral here... what else is there?
(Someone in the audience says something...)
R: What? An asshole?
(laughter)
(Person in audience repeats herself)
R: Oh! A castle! Not an asshole, I see...
(more laughter)
Well, I will try to imagine the castle in my mind.

A couple of more brilliant songs later, Rufus has what he calls a 'political moment'.

R: you know, I think, in the end, it's better that Bush won the second term... only because..
(some in the audience starts to articulate objections)
...wait wait, let me finish. Only because...
there are so many problems and issues that this world faces, not just America, that I think no one, in that office, can solve.
(he mumbles something else, I couldn't catch)
If Kerry had gone to office... (he mumbles a reason.. I think it was something to the effect that the process (of fighting?) will be disrupted.)
So with Bush there.. we could go on fighting. Soldier on.
Actually, no, not really fighting. I meant we should go on loving.
We should spread the love.
Oh well, anyway, here is the song...

Rufus resumes his song... and an impassioned lady gets up from her seat and storms off to the exit on the right. Shortly, two men exit likewise, presumably to chase after her. She must have got offended by Rufus's apparently offensive (to her) political statement which was fair enough albeit irrelevant to his gig. The rest of the hundreds of people in the hall... didn't give a damn. Well, at least I didn't give a damn. In all objectivity, this US elections has been covered to death. I've read about it. I know about it. I want to enjoy his music tonight.. and I don't really give a shit for politics adulterating a night of quality music, and that lady ought to be shot for being a mature adult and behaving in that immature manner. (shot, figuratively. I'm not that harsh.)

Two songs later, I've forgotten all about the 'political moment'. Rufus seemed to have signalled the end of the night with an exit. But obviously after receiving rapturous applause, he's back on stage. And guess what? Complete with a witch's hat and black cape outfit..for himself, and the whole band. In honour of Guy Fawkes Day, so he says, which they didn't allow him to do on the Frank Skinner Show (which we missed tonight because we were at the concert! but there is a repeat tomorrow - friday). Personally, I thought the whole outfit, plus the orange spooky stage lights, made it look more like Halloween.
He procedes to 'oh what a world' which is amazing, and he starts dancing in quite a camp-ish manner with the cape. We are amused. James looks like he's in love. But it's just the exuberant quality in his performance and the most-times overwhelming quality of his voice that strikes a chord in you, quite literally.

One of my favourite moments in tonight's show was when he sang a cover of 'hallelujah' - the same one he sang for the Shrek soundtrack (it's track no. 8 on that). Nothing can quite articulate the distinctiveness of his voice, but if there was a word I'd use to describe his voice - it would be - sonorous.
It's not that his voice blew me away in a literal fashion... in fact, most wouldn't think it was anything fantastically amazing (Vic thinks he sounds nasal, which isn't true) but, as with all the great singers in the world, there is something unique and distinct about their voices - and it is that different, distinct quality that sets them apart from each other.

'Cigarettes and chocolate milk' was beautiful - Neon came out remarking that the amazing thing about Rufus which struck him was that he could move seamlessly from an intimate sound (solo piano, duets, thin, acoustic textures) to a very large, rich sound (violins, double bass, electric bass, electric guitar, acoustic guitar, keyboards, drums) effortlessly. And how true.

Tonight's show ended on a poignant moment. It exceeded all my expectations. And I will keep the memory in its full glory, for myself. For no matter how much I write about it, nothing will quite capture that experience the way it lives on in my mind.

I lean back on my comfy orange chair. Rufus is playing on my stereo.
I'm closing my eyes. The music reaches out...
I'm back in the hall with the smoky stage, bathed in stage lights, with the music amplified in my ears. Suddenly I'm there again with its fullness thoroughly intoxicating me.
The word is simply...

Divine.

If only, and I wish someday, I could reach out and do the same for someone else, with my music.