I feel...

... a bit guilty.


I was slightly late for work this morning. Been having problems getting to sleep at night - I'm not sure if it's the climate, not being used to my own bed, or just inexplicable insomnia. The annoying thing is when I do finally fall asleep, I find it terribly hard to get up, especially for work.


And then mum offered me a lift home from work so I took it, and ended up leaving earlier than usual. So I came in later than my boss, and left much earlier than her. Have been feeling slightly guilty all night - although to be fair, I'm probably going to more than make up for it, as I do with every internship, since they always employ us as cheap labour who are always overworked and underpaid. I'll just turn up earlier tomorrow and leave later.


I seem to have a lot more free time to myself this holiday - I'm not sure if it's because of circumstances, or just a state of mind. For once I'm actually getting a chance to write more, listen to music and even watch DVDs with my little bro. Again, I'm not too sure if I like it or not. Maybe it's good to have phases. Sometimes be alone. Sometimes not.

I have been looking at pictures again - I really should sort all of them out and get a few prints. I have grand plans to re-decorate my room too. I took the above picture in Salcombe, Devon during my holiday to Cornwall.


This...

is taken in Tintagel, Cornwall. June 13, 2005. 6.35pm I was looking out onto this exact view unfolding itself in quite a subtle magnificance, thinking I would never forget this moment. And I don't think I ever will. If I try hard enough, I can feel that exact elation, that cold breeze, that sound familiar yet alien, that lovely presence. I find myself looking around lately and wishing for the beauty of Cornwall. The Catch-22 though, is that I yearn for it, it's so beautiful, and yet, I wouldn't want to live there. (not yet. at least.) I want to be somewhere busier, somewhere more exciting. like here. But now even though I'm here, there's still something missing.


It's no use talking in circles.
What I truly miss....





is feeling like this.

(Yes, that is my car. And yes, I also made a dent in its roof.)