Bye bye, little car

Yes, my little car was sold today.
My white, 3-door hatchback, Honda Civic with the blue nozzle lights and the flashing stereo, which glowed orange in the dark and flashed pictures of me and my friends on its display was sold today and driven up to the north in some strange town with a strange boy-owner.

I hardly expected it to happen so fast, and when it did, I surprised even myself, at the extent of which I felt for an object which essentially was an assembly of pieces of metal. And I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye, or look at it longingly while it drove off into the darkness.

I wish I thought about it more, when I left. Maybe I would have looked at it over and over again, reminisce, give a sigh and then when I was finally sure I'd taken enough of it in, I'd be able to let go.

It's weird thinking I won't set eyes on it again. In fact, I left it with an assured conviction I'd see it again the next week that I didn't even think of it otherwise. In the back of my mind, it was always going to be there.

It's such a silly example of what you don't realize you have, until you don't have it.
Or maybe it's just me being unnecessarily sentimental, or maybe it's just another manifestation of some inexpressible, explicit sadness lurking in the depths.

I've been through so much, and been to so many places with it. If cars could talk, boy would it tell stories.

But what am I saying... it's only a car....

right?

I'm really going to miss it.

I am not a computer geek

Finally.
First day of spring term and I am thankful that my brain has been kicked back into gear such that I can almost hear brain juice sloshing around in my somewhat-unmotivated mind of late.

I could not get up this morning to save my life - set the alarm for eight but only managed to crawl out of bed slightly disoriented at half 9, ran into campus and made it for 10 only to find out there's some confusion with the timetable and half the class didn't turn up so it was adjourned.

When it finally got rolling, however, I was greedily digesting every minute of it. Academic debates, intelligent brain-storming, talking about what was going on etc... I really miss that intellectual impetus you get in a student environment. What makes it much better is when you're doing an MA, it's a lot more engaging since it's not just pisshead undergrads doing something to pass time! (not implying that I was before in my first degree... haha)

We're doing features this term, which I was slightly wary about considering my recent experience. I prefer the strict deadlines of news - flexible featurish stories give me such a headache since I do everything last minute anyway (including the project I finished in an hour last night for this morning! you would think 4 weeks is enough) But anyhow, I'm unexpectedly excited about this term. Everyone had to come up with a few story ideas and I came up with one today which had a sort of foreign perspective which A liked and said was very fertile ground from which to develop into a proper story. Just have to make sure I know exactly what audience and paper I'm pitching it to... I am actually looking forward to the creativity involved in coming up with our own headline, standfirst and all the research/interviews/writing we are gonna do. whoopee.

The best part.... we're also doing a web project and I'm finally going to learn how to create a website properly! With professional training! With proper software and detailed tutorials!
Sigh. Forgive the fact that I sound like a comp geek (I assure you I'm really not) but I've been dying to get some proper training for ages since my current web knowledge was picked up meself and from other more web-savvy counterparts. I am so looking forward to knowing more than basic html.

So you know with my new-found skills, I'm going to revamp every single website of mine just for practice; since we need to create a professional webpage that is going up on our college's server anyway. I can hardly contain my excitement.

Besides that, I have got grand plans for this year. Speaking to my coursemates made me realize how much of a lazy bum I'd been this whole hols, more than half of them were doing work experiencec and expanding their network etc... all I've been doing is hiding in the midlands turning over in my mind, matters of life that should not be thought about too much anyway.

Loads to do, much to think. Hopefully in a couple of week's time I'll get a decent site up as well, without having to pay or bribe anyone into helping me!

Really?

I didn't take many pictures this Christmas. In fact, probably took the least I've ever did in years, and sort of regretting it now that I don't have any photographic evidence of my lovely albeit introspective new year at R's house. But that's me vegging out on the sofa, post-Christmas laziness. I never knew blogger hosted pictures which allowed users to post pictures rather easily. And all this time I was too lazy to photoshop my images and post them when I could have used this (although you can't really play with how your pic is presented). Shows how oblivious you can be to the things surrounding you despite the fact you might use it everyday.

I'm thinking of re-vamping the site again but it's just so much work!

Have so much proper work to do too but I seem plagued by a certain inertia which I'm sure isn't just pure procrastination. L and I were chilling out last night when we decided to read our past archives to see what was our last year's resolutions and whether we kept to it: very amusingly, mine last year read: no more last minute essays.

Haha.. it certainly didn't work out that way. This year, I didn't even bother to make any resolutions.

I'm feeling in a rather general, lazy mood right now and I really need to get myself going - I'm quite sure, however, that I'm like that only because I know once I start term again, there's just no stopping and frankly, I'm feeling rather tired.

Am currently reading Memoirs of a Geisha now, not because the film is going to be released, but because I happened to be at FOPP and they were selling the book at a really low price of only 3 quid, and I read a TIME article about the book before which made me very interested.

Against my expectations, I'm finding myself sucked into the book, and its world, so much so that I always half expect to see white face-painted ladies to be appearing at every corner I turn, and I can even smell the sea sometimes when I read about it, then think about how much time I myself used to spend under the blazing sun on the lasers sailing about in the not-so-pure waters back home.

Of all the things I need to be reading.... (I've got an important media law exam in three weeks which I have to keep reminding myself off, because it really does not impress upon me at all)... I seem to be reading the thing that is least important or helpful at this point of time.
It reminds me of how I used to read stuff like Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter just a week before my exams and then screwed myself over because I couldn't put the book down and didn't feel like reading anything serious either.

I can see it happening again, but I can't do anything to help it.

Sigh.

Here it comes...

I've yet to do the 'new-year' post... so here it is.

I'm sitting slightly not-sober in my best pal's apartment - feeling the effects of being inebriated by certain consumables and I can hardly believe we've gone into another year and everyone says the same thing; how time flies, how old we are getting, how much has happened blah blah.

Nothing so much prepares for what's going to happen anyway, because you don't know. So what's the point about talking about it?

The end of 2005 was an introspective one for me... never thought it'd be that extent, but thinking about life, is good. but thinking about it too much, is pretty shit. And yet one can't help oneself. The irony.

I didn't think I'd be feeling what I'm feeling now a year ago, or a few months ago for that matter. or days.

I actually miss home - and I'm trying not to make it sound like a surprise. But I even surprise myself.

I've got a feeling this will be the year. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm afraid sometimes I don't know either.

Here's to a great new year!
I have great plans..................
so let's be positive.

(Prodigy's Poison is ringing in my ears now)