Not-so-merry Christmas

In all my years of driving, I met with my first car accident today.

It was a horrible experience, details of which I cannot publish until the investigation is complete...

But it has totally ruined my Christmas... what started out as a short trip to pick up Christmas cards turned out to be a horror of waiting around, taking statements and feeling absolutely terrible.

Money will have to be spent, time wasted... and general unpleasantness experienced.

So many 'if only's surface in my mind now... but nothing good ever comes out of contemplating the if onlys.

I attended Christmas vigil with my family tonight... it was so beautiful in church.
The lights were dimmed... the Christmas candles were burning. The choir was singing beautiful carols, while the procession began with the priest walking in. I was so sad and so touched all at once. I wished I was back there, but I was also thankful that I was here - spending Christmas with the ones that mattered to me.

In the end, I thanked Him I was still alive - to be able to attend Christmas mass. Things could have been worse and I might not have made it.
But I did.
Putting things in perspective, all things happen for a reason.
It does not eradicate that horrible unpleasantness lurking at the recesses of my mind - thinking about the tedious reports and hassle I'll have to go through in the next week - the week before I fly back, the last week of the year - but at least I have the comfort of knowing that somehow in the end, He will make things alright.

J once said religion was a form of escapism. I said it was an unspeakable peace. Maybe it's both. But it doesn't matter... I'm just thankful for it.

Merry Christmas everyone.