Have you ever....

The flurry of activity never ceases... so many things happen, yet the same things always happen.

Have you ever had that horrible feeling of wanting something so badly, yet full knowing rationality demands that you should not and cannot give in... which renders you partially incapable of doing either fully, immobilized in a nebulous time and space that seems to draw itself out in physical time and in your mind...

Have you ever wondered why you do some things you do, knowing it partly makes you miserable, but also makes you who you are...

Have you ever doubted why you try to achieve so much, complicate and fill your life with a set of driven motivations... only to subject yourself to either bitter, futile disappointment or glorious euphoria... at the expense of a happiness that is possibly staring right at you in the face...

Have you ever questioned why we do what we do... when sometimes everything just seems so trivial and pointless in comparison to the atrocities of the world; of which has caused someone to say There is for human beings no greater hell to fear than the one on earth...

Have you ever relentlessly contemplated the contradiction that is life which is so ugly and so beautiful all at once...

Have you ever tried to put things in perspective, considering the long-term and the short-term, seeking an equilibrium between the turmoil that is within yourself... but not finding an answer, uncertain you even believe there is an answer in the first place...

Have you ever been so convinced once of the answer to everything... which now seems too easy and simplistic a way out of all difficult questions...

I take comfort in knowing at least I tried.

...........

Have you ever, by the way, done an essay about female circumcision?
Well, I'm doing one now, burning in essay hell till monday, and burning in the horrible knowledge, and burning in fucking stress of an awaiting writing test - totally self-imposed and unecessary, yet totally determining the course of my life.


The screaming token torturers are silencing not only the victim, but their own victimized Selves. Their screams are the ‘sounds of silence’ imposed upon women in sado-ritual.